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Be who You were made to be!

Be who You were made to be!

After recently speaking at a women’s conference, I have been meditating on the quote of St Catherine of Siena:  “Be who God meant you to be and you will set the world on fire.”  I realize that while I am a good counselor, I am a better speaker, and I do the world and myself a disservice when I don’t do more of what puts fire in my bones and that of others.  It is at this point in my blog, I reassure you, that I am not going to be giving up my job as a counselor shortly, but I need to move towards more public speaking.  What is it that you are great at doing that you are not doing in life?  Why have you chosen to give away your power to numbing yourself instead of giving away your power to endeavors that set you on fire?  Because, believe me, when you are doing what you are great at doing, it will set others on fire because they will not just see it, they will feel that which you are gifted to do.  They will be “set on fire” by the use of your gift.  Do you want to change your world?  Do you want to be light on a hill?  A fire that cannot be quenched?  Start doing more of what you are great at doing and if you do not know what that passionate fire is in your life than you need to take your power back so you can figure that out.  So many of us have tried to stuff our giftings in boxes that those around us have deemed to be the right box and, in the process, put out our fire in a box by closing the lid.  Fire needs oxygen to spread, and it needs to be fanned.  I challenge you to find a group of supportive friends who can both fan the flame and help you remove the structures you have erected that contain the fire.  Each time you use the gift you were born to use, you fan that flame and the fire grows.  People who have heard me speak reassure me that each time I speak to large groups, I grow in my giftedness and I can feel the difference, too.   Have you ever heard Andrea Bocelli sing opera?  My grandmother was an opera fan, and I would listen to Pavarotti with her during my childhood, and out of nowhere Andrea Bocelli burst on the scene of opera and sang opera in a different fashion.  Bocelli’s expression of emotion in his modernized singing of opera introduced a segment of the population to that style of music that previously never listened to opera.  He entered the music scene because of the encouragement of his friends and family and made a choice to leave his career as a lawyer to pursue his passion.    You may not be an opera singer. However, we need you to use your gift and to set us on fire.  You are uniquely you, and nobody else can be who you were meant to be!


Ephesians 2:10

For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them

Do you Have CSSS(Cinderella Step-Sister Syndrom)?

Do you Have CSSS(Cinderella Step-Sister Syndrom)?

Do you have Cinderella Step Sister Syndrome (C.S.S.S.)? “What in the world is that?” you ask.  It is the attempt to live someone else’s dream that doesn’t fit who we are, such as Cinderella’s stepsisters did in Grimm’s famous fairy tale.   In the original story of Cinderella, written by Grimm, the stepsisters did physical harm to their feet by cutting off toes and heels to attempt to wear the glass slipper designed for Cinderella.   Many times, our effort to live someone else’s dream can cause physical, emotional and, spiritual harm to us, but because we are living out a dream, we don’t see the cost to us, but we certainly will feel it.  Sometimes when we are not living our best life, we find ourselves daydreaming of what life could be like if things were different or trying to shove our feet in shoes that we cannot walk in.  Alas, neither of these options produce little more than frustration in our life.   In my line of work, I meet many people who are living the lives that others have created for them instead of writing their story.  Many people still live the lives their parents set up in work, finances, and relationships.  They have assimilated the beliefs of their parents into how they live, and in turn, they live someone else’s life; a life that of their parent’s design.  Be it parents, teachers, pastors, partners or friends who influence the choices that you make; you need to have a clear image of who you are so that you start making decisions that will move you toward your passion.  Once you have located your passion, you will find it easier to make choices because you will understand what options or people to embrace and what choices not to embrace.  Your truth about yourself will bring your peace and energy and will cause you to set boundaries for anyone or anything that negative encroaches on that which you hold dear.   The Cinderella Stepsister Syndrome recovery challenge is to find your passion in life and move toward it because it is when we move toward who we were created to be in life that we start finding our fulfillment.  The psalmist David understood this about God and was able to recover from many challenges in life because he understood this concept of God.  Today, I challenge you to search the internet for passion finder assessments that will help point you in the right direction (my personal favorites are the DISC Career assessment, COPSystem, and the Destiny Finder profile), and to search out people who see the same things in you that the assessments provide.  We need people in our lives who will embrace us for who we have been called to be, not who they need us to be for their purposes.  I often relate this to my life when I think about the mentors in my life who had supported my passions even when they did not benefit from those passions.  I know that I would still be living the life somebody else had created for me and being confused and powerless, had someone not stepped forward and said to me, “ I see who you are in this area and you need to do much more of it!”  Cinderella’s stepsisters never received what they wanted out of life because they were living the life their mother had created for them.  It’s time to create a life that brings you passion, not one that crushes your dreams because you live for others.


Psalm 139

1 You have searched me, Lord,

   and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;

   you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;

   you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue

   you, Lord, know it completely.

5 You hem me in behind and before,

   and you lay your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,

   too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?

   Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;

   if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,

   if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,

   your right hand will hold me fast.

11 If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me

   and the light become night around me,”

12 even the darkness will not be dark to you;

   the night will shine like the day,

   for darkness is as light to you.

13 For you created my inmost being;

   you knit me together in my mother’s womb.

14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;

   your works are wonderful,

   I know that full well.

15 My frame was not hidden from you

   when I was made in the secret place,

   when I was woven together in the depths of the earth.