The other day, some friends and I were sitting around a table talking about the person we want to be and the goals we have in life; however, fear always seems to stand in the way like a controlling partner. In the course of conversation, my friend Cristina declared, “ I just feel like I need to write a breakup letter with fear!!” and all of us exclaimed in unison that we felt this to be a great idea. I, of course, thought it to be a wonderful therapeutic exercise for clients. So this is my break up letter with fear and it is dedicated to Cristina, whose idea birthed much truth. Go write your own break up letter with fear after reading mine.

Dear fear,
This letter has been a long time coming and I am finally strong enough to say goodbye to you: GOODBYE! I hate you and what you have done to me!! I don’t need you anymore and I don’t want you anymore! I used you to protect me from scary things for so long, that letting you go feels scary and freeing at the same time. I remember how I used you to get comfort from people by telling people about what you were doing to me and people would bring me comfort. I would use you as an excuse to not do things I didn’t want to do and I would use you to keep me in a controlled little box that felt safe. But, no matter what, you kept me alone and abandoned when I was in your box. It was a sick, sick relationship!! It makes my stomach turn when I think of all the things I let you do to me. I let you control who I talked to, when I talked to them, and what I would talk about. I let you control when I went out, when I went to bed, where I would go, what I would eat, and how much money I could spend. I let you determine my worth, my value and my honor because I would always be thinking of what you would think about it if I let those things come into me. Fear, you were always in my thoughts! I ran everything I said and did through your twisted filter. Every education decision, career decision, relationship decision, etc, etc.. I am so tired of you running and ruining my life and I am not going to let you manipulate me any longer! You manipulated me to comply to you so many times I can not even count and you shamed me and accused me of things that were not true to get me to comply to you. The sad truth is that after being with you I wouldn’t know what was right or wrong! Seven people could be telling me one thing and you could be telling me another and I would believe you and trust you more than seven other people telling me loving things! You are evil and no longer am I going to choose evil over the voice of love!! I am choosing love and all that means over you. Love will kick you out and love will make good decisions for me! Love will propel me toward my future and will not abandon me! And most of all love will give me hope that no matter what happens, He will work it out and things will be to my benefit. Love honors me, values me, protects me, blesses me and love has never failed me.
So fear, this is your official break up letter. Do not try to contact me again because I do not want to converse with you any further! You will only try to confuse me into believing you are right, but I see the fruit of my relationship with you and it is rotten. By the way, that person named Love, His real name is GOD and He rocks my world!

1 John 4:18 The Message (MSG)
17-18 God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

My Break-Up Letter with Fear
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