How do I know if a person is good for me? The answer to that question is basically boiled down to one answer: do I grow and advance as a person as a result of being with that person? Do I produce more fruit in my life as a result of being in relationship with this person? Jesus said it this way in the Bible in the book of Matthew 7:15-20(ERV): 15 “Be careful of false prophets. They come to you and look gentle like sheep. But they are really dangerous like wolves. 16 You will know these people because of what they do. Good things don’t come from people who are bad, just as grapes don’t come from thornbushes, and figs don’t come from thorny weeds. 17 In the same way, every good tree produces good fruit, and bad trees produce bad fruit. 18 A good tree cannot produce bad fruit, and a bad tree cannot produce good fruit.19 Every tree that does not produce good fruit is cut down and thrown into the fire. 20 You will know these false people by what they do.[a] Jesus said I will know if people are good or dangerous by what they do, not by what they say; in the same way, my relationship with an individual can be examined by what fruit is produced in me as a result of my relationship with them. Is my person-hood spiritually, emotionally, physically, and relationally advanced or diminished as a result of my relationship with them? Jesus says you will know people by their fruit, not be their words.
- Do they bring care to your weary soul?
- Do they spur you on to achieving your purpose in life?
- Do they cause you to seek God and spiritual discipline more?
- Do they encourage your other relationships?
- Do you see yourself making steps of bravery as a result of their presence in your life?
When deciding if a person is good for me, the caution is always to look at the fruit of others and the fruit they cause in me. Are they constantly losing jobs? Constant job losses is their fruit, not the excuses they share. For example, is the person constantly losing jobs because they are disrespectful and insubordinate to authority? Does that individual feel entitled to steal from the company or constantly be late for work and blame the company for the policies they feel entitled to break? Words are the intentions of the person or the manipulative words of the person. Actions are the fruit of the person. I will know a person is good for me if I produce more fruit in my personal life as a result of relationship with this person.
Today you need to ask yourself what relationships need to be pruned so that you can be more fruitful in your own purpose in life.