How do you feel after someone has manipulated, guilted or shamed you into doing something for them? You do not feel good about yourself. You feel shameful and have poor self-esteem after the matter. To compound matters, how do you feel when you have no choice in a matter, and you are not allowed to share your feelings or say no? You probably feel powerless and violated in addition to feeling guilty, shameful, condemned, and perhaps lacking trust in the other person. Unfortunately, parents in their own feelings of powerlessness sometimes resort to manipulative techniques to get their children to comply with their requests. We have all been there and done that type of behavior in the parenting journey, however, if we grew up with emotionally or verbally abusive behavior, we may not realize when we are being manipulative in our parenting. We desire to empower our children to move toward the design their creator has made them, but we take away some of the fuel they need to achieve their plan when we inadvertently steal some of their emotional strength via manipulative parenting techniques. In the attached podcast, Licensed professional counselor, Sharon Wegman, and counselor Cait Beiler discuss the seven cardinal sins parents can inadvertently do that harm their children. Ephesians 6:4 cautions parents, and our podcast focuses on these provoking behaviors:
Parenting is the toughest job out there. It triggers more emotional reactions than we could ever imagine before walking out the journey of parenting. Each phase of the child’s development triggers different responses from us, but the underlying theme is powerlessness. Am I doing this right? Am I messing up my child with my dysfunction? How can I parent well in the midst of a busy schedule? All these questions are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to parenting while feeling powerless. In the first of a two-part podcast, Sharon Wegman, LPC, and Cait Beiler discuss ten characteristics of successful parents from a counseling point of view.
Included in their discussion are the following 10 Characteristics of Successful Parents;
Confident in parenting without being severe or authoritarian as the means of asserting their authority.
Clear and consistent with expectations.
Treat their children with respect despite how angry and frustrated they are feeling.
Remain verbally and physically affectionate throughout the teen years.
Are emotionally accessible to their children.
Good sense of humor and can laugh at themselves.
Never punish unfairly and never demean their children by treating them as inferiors.
Stand their ground on points that matter.
Seek help from others when they don’t know what to do.
Seek God for answers, wisdom, and strength for their parenting problems.