Managing The Holidays with COVID

For a lot of people, the holidays can be a triggering time of year for a variety of reasons. While you may have been practicing how to manage these triggers, one new aspect has been thrown in the mix – COVID. In this episode, Sharon Wegman and Kayla Seader explore triggers such as rejection, fear of missing out, and having to say no, and setting firm boundaries. Sharon and Kayla then go on to explore areas that boundaries may need to be set, how to go about setting and respecting boundaries, and alternatives to still experience aspects of joy in this season. 

Gaslighting 101

In 1944 there was a famous movie released by the name “Gaslight.”  The film is the story of a man who marries a woman after a whirlwind relationship to manipulate her for financial gain.  Throughout the movie, the husband proceeds to do a variety of deceptive things to convince his wife that she is insane to gain control over her and her wealth.  The movie’s theme slowly created the term gaslighting, to describe a type of manipulative behavior that a person uses to try to deceive another out of truth.  Examples of gaslighting actions might include;  Blatant lying, frequent use of denial, projecting, manipulation of things dear to you, flattery, and a plethora of other manipulation tactics.  The individual who is the victim of gaslighting will often find themselves confused sometimes to the point of developing extreme depression and anxiety.  In the following podcast, Sharon Wegman and Ina Gould describe gaslighting, its effects, and strategies to deal with gaslighting.

Gaslighting 101

Codependency Looks Like

Co-dependency was a word that was coined by people working in the field of addictions to describe the behavior of members of an addict’s family that enabled the addict to continue with addict choices.  However, in the world of counseling, we have taken over the term to describe the behaviors of individuals who carry things for others that are not their responsibility. This could look like several things.  Sometimes people can have an unhealthy need for people to make them feel better. For example, if someone struggles with anxiety, they might be dependent on another individual to make them feel peaceful. This relationship struggle can cause people to control others so they don’t feel upset or it could cause people to become “people pleasers” to keep themselves or others from feeling off emotionally.  People tell me all the time that they feel like they have to carry the problems or tasks of others so that they don’t feel anxious. The crux of all co-dependency is that I carry something for someone so that I don’t have to feel _________(fill in the blank) or so that the other person doesn’t have to feel __________(fill in the blank). However, what we all need to understand is that feeling uncomfortable feelings is part of our emotional growth to wholeness; for self and others.  Whether it is our children, friends, co-workers or other family members, if we don’t feel the uncomfortable feelings of our choices, we are likely to not change. In this podcast, Cait Beiler and Sharon Wegman discuss what codependency can look like in our everyday life.

Why Counseling is So Helpful

The trend and comfort of going to counseling has only developed popularity within the past decade or so. This is a good thing, but as a therapist, I still encounter the negative views or “cliches” people see in counseling. As a culture, we are just now starting to come out of the perspective that going to counseling somehow means “you’re crazy” or “there’s something wrong with you.” In reality, we all go through hard things, and the point is we need support and safe places to process these experiences to stay healthy and receive healing. In this podcast, Sharon and I discuss the different reasons why someone might want to go to counseling and how counseling can aide and support that person in their process of healing. It is possible that as you have gotten older, you have become more increasingly aware of negative patterns you have picked up over time from your childhood. Going to counseling can help you unravel some of these patterns and find new ways to think and see things rather than being stuck in our childhood self. Another reason people might come to counseling is to find help and a safe space to process various types of trauma that have happened to them. Such trauma might include; multiple types of abuse, divorce, poverty, domestic violence, etc. Talking to a counselor can free up some of the weight and struggle you carry from these memories, as well as helping you find healthy ways to cope with your past. Lastly, you might find yourself needing to go to counseling because you have experienced the death of someone close to you. Grief counseling is a massive piece of working through a loss and the grief cycle in a very vulnerable time.
All in all, counseling is helpful for any season of life, sometimes as people, we need someone to sit and process with us in a place that feels safe and gives us permission to explore and experience our emotions. A therapist is simply a person whose job is to support and help you work out your feelings and your needs. Therapists are not afraid of the ugly feelings, so you have permission in a counseling office to be your authentic self. A counseling office is a place concerning no judgments or expectations over us, and for most of us, that in itself can be a very healing process.

Strategies for Dealing With Emotionally Unhealthy Parents

In this episode, Sharon and office administrator Mandy discuss strategies for dealing with emotionally unhealthy parents as a follow up to part one. They also chat about new changes coming to their office that you can hear at the end of the episode! After this episode, we will be taking a hiatus from our podcast to focus on those changes, so make sure to follow us wherever you stream your podcast, and on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. Check out our website, wellspringssolutions.com, for more announcements and updates on our classes, groups, and programs.

Emotionally Unhealthy Parents- Part 1

An emotionally unhealthy parent is one who has never worked through their own past or childhood wounds, so they cannot handle hard emotions or feelings. They will often justify not having done so, and show a pattern of unhealthy behaviors and communication. In this episode, therapists Sharon and Cait describe the traits of emotionally unhealthy parents, and give examples of what you might see or hear if you bring a tough emotion or situation to them. Find and follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. For more information, check out the book at the link below! (Affiliate Disclaimer: This is an affiliate link. If you choose to purchase through it, it does not change the price in anyway, but we get a small commission. As an Amazon Associate, we earn from qualifying purchases).

https://amzn.to/3RR4SX0

Tips for Effective Communication

Professional counselors Cait and Kayla discuss what to do (and what not to do) to communicate effectively in safe relationships. They go through the tips in the book Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find–and Keep– Love by Rachel Heller, Amir Levine and explain each step in depth and with examples. If you’ve ever found yourself wondering how to effectively communicate your needs, or how to ensure you’re hearing your partner and they’re hearing you, or what’s really happening when one partner blames the other for not making dinner, this episode is for you! Find us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists. Attached Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/Attached-Anxious-Avoidant-science-attachment/dp/1529032172/ref=asc_df_1529032172/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=380083827000&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4221858850376373358&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007451&hvtargid=pla-833695358154&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=77281545773&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=380083827000&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=4221858850376373358&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007451&hvtargid=pla-833695358154 Brene Brown The Power of Vulnerability: Teachings of Authenticity, Connection, and Courage Book Link: https://www.amazon.com/The-Power-of-Vulnerability-audiobook/dp/B00D1Z9RFU/ref=sr_1_4?crid=RN1O0RP08Y9X&keywords=brene+brown+vulnerability&qid=1662055081&s=books&sprefix=brene+brown+vul%2Cstripbooks%2C85&sr=1-4

Back to School: Strategies for Parents

In this episode, counselors Cait and Sharon build off the previous episode about what kids are feeling when it comes times to go back to school. They discuss what anxiety is, how kids experience it, and how important it is for parents to be able to attune to their children’s feelings to help them work through whatever they are experiencing. They give examples of how to attune, and then strategies for parents to help their kids work through their anxiety and prepare for the transition back to school. Follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

Back to School- What are kids feeling?

In this episode, professional counselors Cait and Sharon discuss why children might start acting differently when August hits. They explain why kids might start feeling more anxious, and what anxiety looks like in kids who don’t have the language or awareness to explain or name what they’re feeling. Find us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists!

Money Beliefs

In this episode, professional counselors Cait and Sharon discuss how our adult views and decisions surrounding money were formed and influenced. While it is a topic sometimes seen as taboo or not something everyone wants to discuss, it’s helpful to dig into our feelings and reactions around money- it can tell us a lot about ourselves and our beliefs. Find us on instagram @wholeselftherapists!

Food Beliefs

In this episode, professional counselors Sharon and Cait discuss how our relationship with food was influenced and how we might’ve formed our beliefs about it. They discuss the different variables, how to avoid passing unhealthy beliefs to our children, and how to break unhealthy beliefs tied to food. If you are in the state of Pennsylvania and are interested in scheduling with our counselor, Joanna Faljean, visit our website at wellspringssolutions.com. Like, subscribe, and follow us on Instagram @wholeselftherapists

Parenting is Triggering (Part 2)

In this episode, Sharon and Cait follow up on the last episode about how parenting is triggering. They discuss what can trigger parents or caretakers in each age group of newborns/babies, 0-5, and up, and how we can cope when we are triggered.

The book mentioned in today’s episode can be found here: https://www.amazon.com/Whole-Brain-Child-Revolutionary-Strategies-Developing/dp/0553386697/ref=asc_df_0553386697/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=312177564685&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6952193102709236417&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007410&hvtargid=pla-436541850135&psc=1&tag=&ref=&adgrpid=60258870697&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvadid=312177564685&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=6952193102709236417&hvqmt=&hvdev=c&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=9007410&hvtargid=pla-436541850135

BONUS: Addictions Treatment for Professionals- Thinking Outside of the Box with Ann Bruno

In this bonus episode, Sharon Wegman interviews Ann Bruno, M. Ed., CARC, about her specialty of addictions treatment, and how outside-of-the-box thinking can aid professionals in their recovery. If you are interested in Ann Bruno’s program, The Sober Academy, you can get in touch with her through her email: brunoann1@msn.com or call/text: 520-370-9020.

Parenting is Triggering

In this episode, counselors Sharon and Cait discuss the big emotions we can feel while parenting. They explore the following questions and more: Why can we feel so riled up from our kids? Why can we feel like our bodies are on edge? Why do we want to shut down when our child behaves a certain way? Or have the sudden urge to yell? In the next episode, they explore how parents can cope with feeling triggered in each stage of their child’s life.